The second to last post here, The Turmoil Just Behind the Peace was both oddly and accidentally one of the most honest things I've ever written and sent me into an introspective spiral. And that damn song, "Pues"…well let's just say it isn't the best idea to listen on repeat while you gaze into the inner depths of your soul and rifle through the dustiest boxes in the dimmest recesses of your memory. Either that or it's the best idea ever. I haven't fully figured out yet. What can be said is that everybody must find the truth as it exist within them at a certain point in their life. Some do it on the playground when they're 3 yrs. old, others on their deathbed, and everybody else likely somewhere between those two extremes. There's of course the larger struggle of finding the truth as it exist in the larger world outside our windows, but that's another thing entirely. Most everybody figures that out after they take their last breath and whatever happens, happens…I'm assuming. But finding truth as it exist within ourselves just involves realizing at some point you have to stop getting in a boxing match with yourself and work your way through the world the way that little voice in your head keeps telling you to. If you want to be a clown, be a clown. Alexander Ebert's first words in "Truth" get right to the point: "truth is that I never shook my shadow/everyday it's trying to trick me into doing battle/calling out faker only get me rattled. " Shadow boxing your own shadow eventually wears you out and strips you down. Oh, and the names your own shadow will call you…completely unnecessary and inappropriate. And so, sooner or later we each just stop fighting. And that's the truth.
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